One and a half out of ten people swear by OmnifiXennial.
Are you aged 38-45? Do you suffer from the following?:
Midlife Career Ambition
Pity Party Invitation Declination
Bad Therapist Syndrome
High School Memory Rumination
Unwanted Subscription Renewal
Mandatory Team Event Dysphoria
Post-Presentation Ego Deflation
Relationship Responsibility Phobia
Digital Detox Discontinuation Disorder
Unwritten Novel Malaise
Fame Crave (Bitter type)
Fame Crave (Deluded type)
Humanities Degree Lament
Marvel Movie Letdown
Amazon Purchase Guilt
Apple Device Accumulation Affliction
Personality Questionnaire Obsession
Well, suffer no more! One daily dose of OmnifiXennial is all it takes to cure* all of the above ailments. Ask your doctor if OmnifiXennial is right for you.
Side effects may include accelerated aging, memory loss, and dysentery. OmnifiXennial increases sun sensitivity by a factor of 180.
Available in suppository only.
*may not cure